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April 19, 2013

Comments

Lisa

Beautifully written Allison. My "kids" are 21, 19, and 15 now but I too remember and now cherish those times. And you're right, it's just part of being a parent. There are challenging times ahead, and wonderful ones you can't even imagine. Enjoy :)

Erin

My "baby" is now 15, and I remember feeling the way you describe feeling. We knew he was the last one, and I wanted to savor it all, but I often felt guilty for not savoring it all. There was no need; there's still so much to look forward to.

Allison

That's what I need to hear Lisa and Erin- that there's so much still to come.

April

I must confess I have never been the mom who cried at the bus stop :) That being said, I have been fortunate to enjoy each stage they go through, best of all is seeing my girls become best friends! But boy I don't miss those weeks of colic! :)

Donna

I felt like that although I too was never the mom crying at the bus stop. But I did have that bittersweet feeling of all those "this is the last" times. I was also completely taken by surprise when we dropped my younger daughter off at UIUC her freshman year. We rented a minivan to get the small fridge, microwave, etc to school. My other daughter (who wasn't returning to school for another week or so) & partner drove. After we left with my older daughter driving, we hasn't gotten a mile before all 3 of us just burst into tears. Our baby! It was brief & I actually felt proud that she was so well prepared to deal with being on her own. But we all had that immediate stab of missing her ferociously. So expect to keep surprising yourself for many years.

bonny

As a mother on the other end of parenthood, I can tell you there will be plenty of new and awesome. My sons are 19 and 22, both in college, and the 22 year old will be moving 1700 miles away this summer to start grad. school. I'm incredibly happy for and proud of my sons, but also finding myself achingly missing those days when they were both small, a bit more dependent, and safely at home with me. So while I think you're right that being needed so intensely can be suffocating, I also think you're right than it is important - for Henry, James, you, and Joe. Simply Socks Yarn Co. is amazing, but I honestly think that being a mother and raising your sons is the most important thing you'll do. The suffocating part will end soon enough and you'll have the fun and awesome parts of guiding your sons, and getting to know them as the wonderful men they are growing up to be. My grandmother used to tell me that the days drag, but the years fly. That is true, and I hope you can enjoy the boys as they are now, while looking forward to all the wonder and wonderful times ahead. Thanks so much for a terrific post!

Renee'

Allison...just look at raising kids as an adventure. It is the most important "job" you will ever have and the hardest but the most rewarding. When they grow up into wonderful adults you will look back at all the fun, frustrating and awesome stages and you will treasure each one. My girls are 35, 33 and 29 and I don't know where the time has gone. I highly recommend you keep a journal. I wish I would have.

bittenbyknittin

Your kids will continue to need you as they grow, but in more complex and challenging ways (especially during the teen years!) The elementary school years were my favorite, and then the hormones kicked in - theirs and mine! Now they are grown and my only complaint is, only ONE grandchild?!? I was hoping for a passel.

Lynn

Yep that abt covers it! And it hits everybody differently. I was fine when my kids started to walk or feed themselves or be independent. however I was sad when their teeth came in. No more gummy smiles. I was fine on their first day of school, but a wreck when they graduated from elementary school. They looked SO big compared to the rest of the school who held signs up wishing them luck as they walked to the buses toward their graduation day. I cried when I dropped my son off at middle school. I felt like I was throwing him to the wolves.

It's weird. My son is 14 and my daughter is 11 (who acts like she's 18) and the teen years are rough! However I know I will always be needed in some kind of fashion. Even if that means not killing them while they advance towards adulthood.....

Leslie Fehr

They will always need you, just in different ways. My son is 42 and my daughter is going to be 34 - and I am needed just as much as when they were younger. My son decided to venture into his art full time - I've been able to provide that emotional support when he isn't so sure he made the right decision. My daughter has worked hard to become a counselor and therapist at a residential facility for children. We connect once a week and I find myself putting a stamp of approval on her methods of dealing with some of these kiddos. Now, I actually know what's up according to her LOL It has been a long winding road of firsts and lasts - but I wouldn't have changed it. Sometimes it takes more patience than you want to give. But, as I look at my wonderful adult children, I am so proud of them. It has been so worthwhile. I don't think I would have done anything different.

Barb R

You sound like a woman who is not finished having children as yet. I would not close that door yet. You may, as I did..regret it...BADLY.

Reconciter...carefully!!

Both my boys are 24 and 26. I still..after all these years, want more children. I listened to the wrong voices and have regreted it ever since. My boys need me but, as others have said, in different ways. Don't make the same mistake I did..and live each day without other children.

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