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August 18, 2009

Comments

Carla

I remember as a Teenager setting the clocks ahead so I could put little kids to bed early as a baby sitter! Now I worry did I ever set them back? Did the parents figure me out???

Kathy Latta

What a cute picture of James and the scarf kits. I guess he might grow up to be in the yarn business like his Mom!!
Kathy

Debbie B

Honey it was on sale.....

Heather

When my kids were little, they would eat over easy eggs with rice (popular Cuban dish for lunch). Well, my daughter decided one day that she didn't like eggs. So, I told her that I made hers with cheese instead.

She believed it until she was about 15. Heh.

monica

When someone's spouse was calling someone at a yarn store I heard that person say that traffic was really bad.

Tracy Hite

"No, sweetie, I'm just making some little practice pieces." (working on afghan squares for Christmas gifts)

mwknitter

For the video, I think it is better to just start now telling him that he can watch TV/videos for only a certain amount of time each day (an hour is a popular amount of time). You can even get one of those cardboard clock faces to show him how much time he has & then how much time he's used up. It may be easier to lie now but I see 2 problems with that. The practical one is that, he will figure out pretty quickly that the remote/TV is not broken & not be satisfied with that answer & you'll have to think up another excuse or delineate rules then. And the second one is do you really want to lie to your child? It may seem like a little thing but my mother was one who lied to her children to make things easier for herself in the short run & I think that it resulted in distrust of her. I remember asking her to buy me a hot dog (Red Hot on the sign) & she told me that it was too hot & spicy & I wouldn't like it. I remember absolutely KNOWING that it was just a hot dog & knowing that she was lying to me. It made me very angry (in a quiet way - I was not a child that had tantrums) & I still remember the incident with a slightly hurt feeling almost 60 years later. She treated my girls (& all the other cousins) the same way & every signle one of them remembers it & talks about it still. When my girls were little, I explained that each house had someone who was responsible for the house & everything in it & that person was the boss of the house. In our house that was mommy & daddy - they made the rules for the house & anyone who came into our house had to follow those rules (including friends on play dates.) Preschool children accept that premise very readily. More than once, after I asked a child to do or not do something, they would say but my mommy lets me & I would explain that I was sure she did but that in my house we followed my rules & in their house everyone followed their mommy's rules. My daughter uses that maxim now & I've used it with the grands (& usually the rules in my house are a bit more relaxed than in their house so they don't mind at all.)

mwknitter

Just wanted to add that "everyone" means everyone who deals with the children. When I am at my daughter's house watching the grands, her rules are followed (not that they are super strict but stricter than what a grandparent would enact.)

Joanne Smith

We were at that huge toy superstore (you know the one) to buy a present for a birthday party one day when my son was 4. We had a rule whenever we were out shopping -I would always buy him a book that he asked for, but rarely a toy (we had plenty). He already knew his letters and numbers, and spotted a toy he wanted and brought it to me. Quite clearly, on the front of the box it said "for ages 6 to 8". I pointed that out to him & asked him to read it to me, then pointed to the checkout lady and told him I'd love to buy it for him, but "they won't let me" - a concept all children understand. I told him I'd get in trouble with the checkout lady. It made perfect sense to him; he just said OK and put it back on the shelf! He understood that someday he'd be old enough for it.

Renee'

Years ago I went to a yarn shop (shock....hahahah) and the owner told me when she wrote a check for yarn she would put something like the drug store, electric bill or grocery store, etc. in the check register. Mind you this was before the days of electronic checking accounts. But I thought it was brilliant. She made sure she was the one that balanced the check book!!!

mary r, mother of 5

I'm distressed and saddened. How can you expect to raise an honest person with integrity when you are setting such a bad example? Your son is smart and probably aware of your deception. You are losing respect in his young eyes and the spiral will continue. Trust is a very fragile item. Once it is broken, no matter how small the item, even though mended, always a residue of mistrust, a stain of suspision remains. Make a compact with your child: you will never, ever lie to him and tell him that you expect the same from him. Honesty is a huge component of love. It frees you from worries and enables you to be confident when you say positive things.
Turn your situation into a positive: Have your son look for programs that you both enjoy, or both enjoy, like the weather channel. Discuss what each of you likes and dislike. Make it a fun, learning experience. Always take time to explain all sides of a situation and the concequences of them and why you are doing what you do. Its not easy, its very time consuming, its called parenthood.


Joanne Smith

Yes, being honest with your child is usually a very good thing, but you also have to remember how tender their little hearts are, and sometimes being "honest" is a bit too brutal. In addition to honesty, good loving parents also need equal parts of flexibility, a quick mind and most importantly, a sanity saving sense of humor.

Case in point: young son (about 2 1/2) moved out of his crib and into a "big boy" twin bed. After a few uneventful nights, he told me that there were monsters under his new bed. Now, I could have been brutally honest, as the previous writer advised, and argued with him (what's wrong with that picture?) that it was all in his imagination, & told him to suck it up and be a big boy and go back to bed. I didn't do that. Instead, I listened seriously to him, told him that I knew just what he was talking about, and that I had just the right solution to make the monsters go away. I told him that lots of kids had this happen, & that I had just bought some very strong Monster Spray, for just this very problem. I told him that monsters HATE the smell of this spray - that he had to leave his room while I sprayed it around in there - didn't want to make him sick as it was a very strong smell. I told him that the monsters would flee from the smell and wouldn't be back tonight, but (planning ahead) I said that sometimes monsters may try again the next night, and if they did, I'd spray it again. I told him that monsters never needed more than 2 nights of spraying before they stayed away permently.

After the smell of Lysol spray cleared out of his room, he calmly went back to bed - and to sleep - and we never had that problem again.

BlondiKnits

My boys were teenagers before they found out that the Emergency Room doesn't REALLY close at 5 pm!

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