I really appreciate all your supportive comments about how you carve out a little time for yourself- it's nice to know that many (or all) moms (and dads) have similar guilt-ridding feelings about getting out of the house and away from the little people that we love. I hope that with time I find a balance of "me time" and "kid time" that alleviates some of the motherhood guilt. Or perhaps I'll find a balance, but never really realize it? Maybe I have my balance but don't see it? Or maybe I'm just going insane analyzing myself over and over and over.... ARGH!
So let's analyze someone else instead- how about James! He's had a runny nose/cough for about a week now. He hasn't been acting like he's too uncomfortable- he's easier to frustrate, but doesn't seem to be in bad shape other than that. So I took him to the doc yesterday b/c it had been a week and I didn't see him improving. Turns out, the little guy has a double ear infection and bronchitis! Now, if I had those, you'll bet that there would be a lot more whining than he's been giving me. I asked the doc if there were certain signs I should be looking for to know if he does have an ear infection (this is his second double ear infection), b/c I'm just not seeing any. He basically said that it all depends on the kid. So I'm wondering how you all know if your kid (one who can't tell you yet) is sick when he really isn't acting much different than usual. It's not like he's pulling on his ears or crying or anything. *sigh*
And in case you think I've stopping knitting, I have a project to share! Well, no pics yet, but I'm knitting the Strangling Vine Scarf (this is the Ravely page)with Fleece Artist/Hand Maiden's Casbah yarn in Ruby Red. I love the color SO much, and while the pattern is lovely it's giving me a bit of a headache. I'm about 2 feet into it and am consistently making stupid mistakes like miscounting my stitches. I'm actually considering using stitch markers.
And another thing, isn't the name of the scarf somewhat morbid? I mean, it just seems weird to have the term "strangling" when naming a scarf.... and of course, to add to that I'm using a blood red color. Perhaps I shouldn't gift it to my mother in law after all!
Funny thing about both of my kids is they had a different smell abou them. I just new something was up. Between that and my husband going out of town- they always got sick when he went out of town:)
Posted by: Jan | December 17, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Thanks so much for sharing the info on the scarf pattern. I'm downloading a copy as we speak. Been looking for a pretty lace scarf pattern. Hope James gets better quick. They really are tough little dudes. You gotta give them some credit!
Posted by: Janet | December 17, 2008 at 01:02 PM
My kids are the same way. A few weeks ago one had viral pneumonia and the other a double ear infection and you would have never known. They were running around like wild men! One way I kind of know something is up in my youngest (3) is that he gets a little more short tempered than normal. Things that normally would not be a huge deal, are. But even that is not consistent...some times he just goes with the flow and has a rip roaring ear infection. I did recently buy an otoscope. Yeah. Cannot see a thing. It did not help at all. LOL
Posted by: Alicia P | December 17, 2008 at 03:32 PM
sorry about James and his ear infection. I use to work for an
ENT doctor and it's not uncommon
for a mom to know that they have
an ear infection. I love your
red scarf. Did you have to have
two skeins to knit it and what
size needles did you use? I hope
that James is better soon.
Posted by: babyface | December 17, 2008 at 04:21 PM
I can always tell by how my kids' breath smells. When they have sinus/ear infections, the breath has a decided funk to it. Also, the contents of his diaper. Not to be too specific, when he was fighting something his dirty diaper would look a particular way. When you see it, you'll know it. Again with the funk.
Take heart- Duncan had 9 ear infections before he was a year old (Big brother was starting pre-school when he was a Dunc was an infant- great combo!) and I had no idea on half of them. He would start to sleep alot and then spike an awful high fever. Always fun.
Watch out for the funk!
Posted by: KT | December 17, 2008 at 04:24 PM
When my children were small, we started a Mothers Morning Out and all chipped in to pay a baby sitter one morning a week. Sometimes, we (there were about 5 or 6 of us) would go for a long walk and then out to an early lunch. Or, if we had errands, we would go our separate ways and then always meet for lunch. This was so important to me, and 20 years later, I still keep in touch with these people. We all live in different places, but the memories of those times were good ones. I SO looked forward to my Mom's morning out! Do not feel guilty about needing some time off. It makes you a better Wife and Mom!!
Posted by: Debby | December 17, 2008 at 07:14 PM
My sister never knew when any of her kids had ear infections -- they never complained or slowed down. One time she took one boy to the doctor only to find he had two ear infections, an eye infection, and a throat infection! She started making doctor's appointments the day before they went on vacation because there was always something. . .in other words, you're not missing any signs, and you're not a bad mom because you don't know.
Posted by: Elizabeth D | December 17, 2008 at 10:07 PM
Sorry to hear about James' ear infection. I had the same problem with the youngest (second) daughter when she was little. She never complained so it was hard to tell how sick she was. I learned to take her into the doctor's sooner, rather than waiting a week, I took her in after 3 days. (she had many ear infections over her first 3 yrs). Now the first daughter... she would tell you when she was hurting!! So don't agonize over it, you are a great mom!
Posted by: SusanB-knits | December 18, 2008 at 11:07 AM
Har! I started that scarf just before the release of the Twilight movie. In the Twilight colorway from Fleece Artist. With ruby red dagger beads to represent drops of blood. I was rockin' the theme. Too bad I didn't bet it finished.
Posted by: Leah | December 19, 2008 at 08:27 PM
I have two kids the same way, by the time my 6 y/o complains abt her ear, it is BAD! It does get easier as they get older (that was the hardest part for me, it's hard to help a sick child when they can't tell you what's wrong), and you do get thru it. Just watch for fevers and changes in attitude. and keep doing what you are doing. Apparently you are doing a great job because I've seen pics of this kid and he doesnt look like he's neglected!! LOL As long as we love them and try to do the best we can, they seem to turn out fine. I think its the love part, that really seems to make a difference.
As far as mommy guilt, it can be a strong emotion, but remember you work hard all day as well. At least at work you can get a potty break w/o company and you do get a scheduled lunch sitting down instead of running after a child and grabbing a bite here and there. Again, its easier to do as they get older, but maybe on a Saturday or a Sunday afternoon, you can go to a movie by yourself or to the park or walk the mall. Even if its just once a month, it will be time for yourself. Plus its great bonding time for the boys. They need that too. Again it gets easier as he gets older and they can do more boy stuff outside.
Either way, enjoy your time at the coffee shop. No matter what the crisis, its still easier than raising children!
Posted by: Lynn | December 20, 2008 at 11:50 AM