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August 17, 2007

Comments

Kat

Oh boy, does this post bring back memories! Here is what an older and wiser mom shared with me - which made perfect sense. Consider this - James has been hearing your heartbeat for 9 months, he has heard you breathing and listened to you talking as well. Now, suddenly, he is separated from that very comforting thing. A scary thing for such a small being - would you not agree? So, in order for me to get some good sleep - I would plunk myself in the "lazy boy" and recline with my baby on my chest sleeping. Was this the most fabulous solution? Probably not, but it worked. And, shortly my children were very ready to sleep by themselves in their crib.

Good luck!!

Sue J.

Oh, yes! Does this bring back the memories. I hate to say this, but we slept in recliners with our son on our chests, sound asleep on his stomach. We took turns, night after night, until he got over it. I know this isn't much help, but just wanted to let you know this is not an uncommon occurrence. We never had to worry about not letting him sleep on his stomach because it hadn't been discovered yet. He slept on his tummy all the time. But, then, I always slept with one eye and ear open. And we had a baby monitor. Good luck, dear.

Brenna

I also did what Kat did pretty often in the first few months. I got the most sleep when I had a hold of my babies. I also discovered if I made a very audible breathing sound...almost a whooshing in a steady rhythm that it soothed both of my babies and often put me right to sleep with them. I kept them as close as possible to our bed when they were in the crib often keeping my hand in the crib near them. Don't insulate him from noise too much either. I now have two kids that can sleep through almost any noise and fall asleep anywhere if the need arises.

Bethany Schofield

My little girl was the exact same way, she is 1 1/2 now. It was murder, it really was. After a month of this,and trying various things, and spending 100 of dollars on batteries for that stupid vibrating chair, I got a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It advised swaddling, a lot of white noise and a technique called jelly head. After a day or two IT WORKED. She slept for 4 hours straight. I was so happy. So maybe a nice, tight swaddle, one of those CDs you get a target that sounds like a thunderstorm or the sea, and that book, and you guys can get some sleep. We had a co-sleeper as well, which helped too, especially if you are nursing. They are made by Arm's Reach and I think I bought mine at www.babyuniverse.com. It was a little pricey, but worth it. If all else fails, he can sleep in that vibrating chair.
Hope this helps,
Bethany

Jessica

Bless your heart. Those first few months are rough. We did the whole recliner thing mentioned in previous comments with our son. Our daughter had some tummy problems, so she slept best in her carrier/car seat where she was inclined just a tad (I put it right next to my side of the bed so I could see/hear her). Don't worry...eventually little James will adjust. :-)

Laura

The best advice I can give you about little James and sleep is "this too shall pass." Every mom experiences it and spends the wee hours of the morning crying on the edge of the bed wondering what to do. There is no magic wand to wave just realize it won't be for long and try to just take it one day at a time. After all if we remembered how hard the sleepless nights and days were we would never have more children. And by the sounds and looks of you and your little one I think you will have another at some point. Motherhood suits you. Good luck and hang in there.

Brenda

I am not a mother, so I can't do more than offer sympathy. I do know that babies have to learn how to put themselves to sleep, it's not a natural instinct. From extensive babysitting for babies less than 6 months old I know that white noise really helps. One set of parents had me turn on a kitchen mixer in the baby's room, and that worked like a charm even though it was pretty odd. Dark and noise of a constant decible level, and the little tykes all slept.

Trish

We have a radio that plays ocean wave sounds. It's a wonderful lifesaver. Neither one of my kiddos would sleep on their tummy. If I put them down on their backs they would scream and cry until you turned them over. Once on their tummy, off to sleep they'd go. I'm also the parent that most moms turn their noses up to because I don't follow "The Rules". You go with what you and your hubby are comfortable with. If your instincts tell you that what you are doing is right then your right. Every baby is different. Good luck on finding some sleep. I know it doesn't help much but I know how you feel.

Nancy

I have been there with you! We ordered one of those pillows that simulate the heartbeat sound. It worked like an absolute dream. Our son slept at one end of the crib, the pillow at the other. Until it arrived, we found that a travel alarm clock that ticked, wrapped in a towel was a good substitute. We gradually weaned him by moving the pillow further and further away. Good luck, and hang in there.

Robin

All three of my children slept on their tummies. I would recommend not putting anything heavier than a receiving blanket with him in there. Just wait until the first night that he sleeps through the night. It will freak you out.

Cindy Minota

My second child, a son, didn't sleep more than 32 mins day or night for 10 months...I had advice galore but no offers to come and spell me for a night's sleep! Lessons I learned: I was selfish-I needed a night's sleep...he was selfish-he wanted me. His needs trumped mine 'cuz he was the infant...I did survive and I did learn to not take his sleeplessness personal. He is a grown man now, he is still a high-maintenance guy. I have no regrets for all my sleepless nights but I never brush off any new mom who is truly suffering from sleep deprivation. Mothering is hard, it is relentless in its demands and there is no greater reward than to see your children grow and know you did all you could possibly do to assist them in their journey to become adults in their own right.

Pam

Having raised my own child and twin grands for their first 2-1/2 years, perhaps I can help. Nobody in family ever picks up babies just because they cry. Babies have very distinct cries which you'll get to understand - feed me, change me, give me some attention because I'm bored, etc. If you pick up your baby every time he cries, he'll quickly learn that that's the way to be held. Believe me, he won't hesitate to use it, either. If you leave him in his crib, he'll cry for a while and most likely will finally fall asleep. It will be hard to you to listen to, but hang in there. As for noise, we ran the vacuum cleaner under the cribs, had the TV going, and never once asked anybody to be quiet around the babies. As a result, all of them (myself included) can sleep through earthquakes, explosions, loud noises of any kind, etc. I'm not telling you to never pick up your baby - you most certainly have to give him that human contact (they're soothed by the beating of your heart since that's what they heard for the entire time they were turning into little humans inside you), but too much isn't a good thing. You can also place a ticking clock in the crib with him or next to the crib. It approximates the sound of your heartbeat. Our babies were all stomach-sleepers and had no problems, even though we laid them on their back. We just didn't cover them with blankets. By the time we got to them in the morning, they were face-first on the mattress on their knees with their butts sticking up in the air.

Being a new mother is tough and frightening at times. But just use common sense and you'll be fine. How did we all survive without all those parenting magazines and books?

This is the easy part. Wait until he's a teenager and wants a car.

B. Rickman

Yep! It is just that he spent 9 months listening to your heart beat and he misses that. He has heard you all his young life and now, to him, it is strange and silent. He has to do just as much adjusting as you do and it will take time for you both.

Be patient with him and let him hear your heart. He is close to it and you are close to his. Don't take these times for granted. One day, he will be all grown up. You will, as I did, watch him walk out the door and long for him to lay his head on your chest and...listen to your heart beat and hear your love for him.

bjr

Ruth

Poor sweet mommie, poor sweet James. My kids also slept on their tummies, because at that time we were told not to lay them on their backs! As said above, mommie's and daddie's instincts are more reliable than the latest from the AMA. When sleep was all I craved, the tykes slept between hubbie and me, we had a king bed, and we all got at least 6 hours. White noise helps, but sometimes, you just gotta let them get a little older. Sorry.

Gwen in Bowmanville

We had the sleep-on-back vs. sleep-on-tummy debate, too. My daughter couldn't settle to sleep on her back, so we let her sleep on her tummy. My mother and my mother-in-law both reasoned that generations of kids survived the night sleeping on their tummies and successfully grew to adulthood. If you're still worried, get a nursery monitor.

Since this is a new behaviour, I'm inclined to agree with Pam up above. When my daughter was about 6 weeks she would cry for no reason that we could figure. She was fed, she was changed, she had been cuddled and played with. It wasn't quiet in her room, as we left a radio playing classical music all the time. As close as we could tell, she was bored and not interested in sleeping. After the third night of this, my husband suggested that she needed to figure out how to amuse herself for a few minutes. We left her in the crib and I read a book. Or tried to. I was so distracted by her crying that I couldn't get past the first couple of lines. I kept going back to the beginning and starting again. But after 15 minutes of hollering, she got tired and slept for 4 hours. Four glorious hours. We didn't have the problem after that and, so far, she's a happy, well-adjusted 10-year-old.

Like someone else said up above, ya gotta go with your comfort level. Try what you feel is right. After all, nobody knows him as well as you do.

God Bless.

jen

swaddle swaddle swaddle. At least that's what worked for my son. He had a high startle reflex for the first six months of his life and wouldn't sleep anywhere but on us for more than 20 minutes until we tried swaddling (with ARMS IN). If they didn't show you at the hospital (shame on them!) google it and try it. really worked for our son. For our daughter, I put her down on her side with a rolled up blanket behind her and one of her arms out so she wouldn't roll onto her stomach. It is important, IMO, to let them learn how to fall asleep by themselves or it becomes a habit--them needing you to fall asleep and then suddenly you are doing this and they are 15 months old and they are still waking up every two hours, needing you to fall back to sleep. Ask me how I know this. I was a total zombie. So with my daughter, I started putting her in the crib every time she would yawn and swaddle and let her fuss a little. Not cry it out. Not scream and cry, but I would let her fuss. And if she wouldn't do it, and it escalated to crying, I would get her and try again later. She eventually would be so tired she'd fall asleep on her own. She's 2 and sleeps like a champ. My son is 5 and he's another story. Not a good sleeper--totally my fault, I think. Anyway, that's all I know about that! Oh and get a pouch ala http://www.goo-ga.com for daytime naps while you're out and about. So much more freedom when they can take a nap or two while you're out and you don't have to be a prisoner in your home. hth.

Amanda Cathleen

My little Bryce was like that. He loved for me to hold him while he slept, and as much as I enjoyed it I couldn't do it forever! He also had acid reflux, and was a gassy baby. A warm hotwater bottle, (baby sized and with a cover. Found a pharmacy) filled up half way placed on his belly while he layed in his reflux harness (B's Dr. prescribed one.) worked the trick. It would put enough pressure on his stomach. He also slept well with a sound machine on. I would put him in his swing and turn on the vacuum cleaner in moments of desperation!

Elaine Biggs

My son Julian wanted to be held all the time too. Swaddling helped. Another thing that worked for us was a Baby Bjorn (or any holder that kept him close to our chests). My husband found that Julian would fall asleep quickly in the baby bjorn while my husband vacuumed. Good luck - the first few weeks are really tough but it does get easier.

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