Sentimental Saturday

Whether it be from hormones, a busy schedule, or looking back on life four years ago, I've been quite sentimental all week.  I feel myself pulled by remembering what James was like when he was the age Henry now is, and pushed by the want for more sleep/independence/adult time.  I find myself wanting to spend lots of time at work, but also compelled to sit on the couch, nursing Henry when he isn't even hungry- (perhaps that's why I have an 8 week old who has gained 4 pounds- we call him Hank the Tank).  I wonder if my body is finally getting enough sleep that it now has the luxury of thinking.  Pondering what was, what is quickly changing, and what I have to look forward to, and wanting to experience it all at once.

I think it's hormones.

I hope it's hormones.

I hope I'm not losing my mind!

Just so you can look back with me, this is what has been playing over and over in the film strip of my mind.  Comparing now:

To four years ago, when James was just year old and life seemed so much easier.  More carefree.  I know it wasn't really that way, but apparently the definition of sentimentality includes "emotional idealism, resulting from feeling rather that reason or thought."  Yeah, that's me right now!

I find myself compelled to linger in this quagmire of happy yet longing emotions, rather than try to jolt myself out of it.  When you find yourself looking back while trying to forever capure what's going on now, what do you do?  Do you go nuts trying to make it all happen in your head?   Or do you journal and try and write it all out so that it's there to look back on?  Or do you have a glass of wine and just let it all simmer?

Comments

[Jane]

It IS hormones. Enjoy them. Let the cup run over and take lots of pictures (and date them!)

[Donna]

Just go with the flow and let the feelings happen no matter what they are. I completely understand what you're feeling. My granddaughter just started preschool yesterday, and I'm thinking it was only yesterday that it was her mom (my daughter) who was the one starting preschool. Enjoy every moment of your boys' childhood because it will pass way too quickly. Journaling is a great way to be able to look back and remember those times. Feeling sentimental is okay.

[Lisa]

Feeling sentimental is good. I'm feeling the same way. My oldest son turned 21, my daughter is heading off to college in a few weeks, and my youngest is a sophomore in high school. I keep thinking, How did that time go so quickly (not just a cliche as I used to believe).

I remember like it was yesterday when they were babies. I cherish those memories, and just savor them when they come along.

Enjoy :)

[april]

"A mother who is really a mother is never really free " ;) Enjoy your time now.... sleep helps too!

[Leslie Fehr]

It is the hormones - and one of the nicer things they make you do. I journeled many things and put the pages in the appropriate baby books.

Now that my kids are 40+ and 30+, I find myself pulling out those baby books and laughing that the grandkids are doing many of the same things.

Do take plenty of pictures and do date them like Jane said --- it sill come in handy when playing "do you remember when".

[Donna]

I think it's only partially the hormones. I think we are all prone to look back over our lives - especially when one has children. And just maybe part of that instinct to go back over past happy warm moments with our children has a purpose. My grands LOVE IT when I tell them stories about their mom & aunt when they were little girls. Or when we do something together that I did with their mom as a child (like make cookies or home made play dough).

[Kathryn]

You are such a lucky woman!!! Count your blessings, they are wonders.

[mary]

You are not losing your mind. God created memory and think how bleak life would be without it. Its normal to long for the past and wish we could hold back time. No one has yet figured out how so just enjoy the present. Get lots of good sleep.

[Renee']

You are ok...that is just part of life and a really good part. I'm 60 now, the girls are all married and have lives of their own - 4 grandbabies and another on the way. We talk often - and get together when we can. I didn't keep a journal but I think it is a great idea because -even tho you don't think you will forget- you do. I am grateful for every memory!!! And, keep close with your husband because when you do get older it is so nice to have your best friend with you.

[Lisa Soderman]

Oh Allison. You are not going nutty. I think a lot of it is hormones. Your body is still going through all sorts of changes from having Henry. And as mothers, we just think about all of these things by our nature. Daniel is 10 now, just started 5 th grade, and I wonder how we have flown to this point! Do try to write and take pics when you can. But don't worry if you don't get it all captured- your mind and heart remember a lot!!! And do remember to take the time for yourself. Whether that be at work or taking a nap. You do deserve that!

[Cindy Carpenter]

Allison, I am writing this from age 53, with 7 grandchildren. You cannot hold onto anything. So, enjoy EVERY minute of all of it, even the dirty, smelly things like diapers. I had raised my children (5 of them) then at 42 we were blessed with raising a newborn granddaughter. That was when we discovered that as young parents of our children we had 'wasted' so much time worrying about everything and stressed over really inconsequential things. Give yourself time, and love yourself too. You are just being normal :-) and isn't that a really great thing to be! PS. That newborn granddaughter is still with us, at 12, with boobies, pimples and a period, and started middle school this year - aye yi yi....

[Sarah]

Gin and tonic, stockinette in the round, cuddle the baby.

My oldest just started kindergarten and I'm such a mess about it, and I can't blame hormones either (I think?) I'm just a lot more emotional since I had kids, both for the ups and the downs. It is what it is.